Baked some iPhone cookies to trick cops into pulling me over, then I just take a bite and ask if cookies are against the law.
Someone’s been waiting their whole career to make that pun
Let’s be honest here, I would make such a shitty companion.
#Heeellooooooooooooo Captain Jack Harkness! *chases*
What do you call an apricot in jail
awesome wedding invite
was the chocolate good
there are two f***ing types of people
OUR SCHOOL WENT ON A TRIP TO TO THE ZOO TODAY AND HAD TO STOP THE BUS BECAUSE SOMEONE SNEAKED A FREAKING PENGUIN ONTO THE BUS OMG MY CHEMISTRY TEACHER WAS CRYING WHEN SHE TOLD US OMG I ACTUALLY DIED
YOU GUYS YOU DONT UNDERSTAND OUR SCHOOL IS ACTUALLY BANNED FROM AN ACTUAL ZOO BECAUSE SOMEONE DECIDED TO TRY AND STEAL AN ACTUAL REAL LIVING PENGUIN AND TAKE IT HOME
who you are in high school is not who you will be in college and who you are in college is not who you will be when you are 30.
when you accept that you are malleable and ever-changing, you will be less resistant to new ways of thinking and being and you will grow into the beautiful person you are meant to become.
resist the urge to remain stagnant. there are always things to learn about the world and yourself. let yourself learn them.
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